What Kind of Pie Can Get Me Outta This One?

I have to post on an embarrassing situation that happened to me this week.  I wasn’t going to at first, but it made me laugh so much my tummy started to hurt, and well one side of me that I haven’t really shown yet on this blog is my love of comedy, imrpov, standup, movie/TVquotes, and general ridiculousness, so why the hell not?

I decided to post a tribute to Elaine from Seinfeld with this post as when this event happened the instant I got home I said to myself, “I feel like Elaine or George on Seinfeld.”  And this tribute to Elaine is fantastic.  I love the ridiculous social situations the two of them get themselves into, especially the work related ones.  And this is where my story begins…

I was asked to have a meeting with the Owner of the Gym where I had recently been hired to teach the Wednesday night level 2 yoga class. I had no idea what the meeting was going to be about since I already had the job, but being the responsible person I am I prepared a powerpoint presentation on different yoga classes I thought the Gym could benefit from, as well as a review of the Gym’s website, seeing as my Corporate background is in Internet Marketing.

So I’m going into this meeting feeling pretty good about myself, right? Well, about 5 minutes into the meeting I realize they have no interest in my yoga or marketing ideas and the meeting was about something completely different.  So, we’re ending the meeting and the Owner asked if I had any questions for him.  My manager at the gym had mentioned that the Owner was having a party at his house this weekend for the staff, so I asked him what his address.  Seems harmless, right?  How can I get myself into trouble now?  The meeting was ending and I was getting his address for the party, and he as happy to provide it.  but of course, Jessica’s big mouth gets into the way and the mental filter that most people have is as always not working.  He hands me a pen and tells me the address and I start to smile and say, and I quote, “Remember that old joke from Highschool, your porn name is the street you live on and the name of your first pet?”

Yes, I reference “porn” the first time I meet someone.  And the funny thing is, I didn’t think it was bad, until he made a comment.  Which was totally appropriate, if I was in his shoes, I too would be very shocked and flabbergasted, (I don’t like that word, but can’t think of anything better to describe the feelings).  He proceeded to mention, “wow, mentioning porn on a job interview.”  Now, in my defense, I did not know this was a job interview, and if I knew it was an interview I most definitely would not have said that, I mean I think I wouldn’t. And anyways the street name was SO funny and I feel appropriate for the comment.  I mean if it was Male Drive, I wouldn’t have said anything, but it was a funny street name that instantly made me think of this joke.  I do not watch porn, and never had, in fact I’m worried to even post this for fear that viruses will instantly spread to my computer for even mentioning the word online, but I wasn’t online, I was just talking, being myself, and thought it was funny.  I think my issue is I like to laugh and smile in this life, even if its inappropriate or at my own expense.  Even if no one else thinks it’s funny, I’ll make a comment, I’ll state what you probably shouldn’t.  But hey, that’s just me.  It’s what makes me good at improv. (Yes I do love Improv and can’t wait my return to the stage! Shout out to my good friend Mobs who also kicks butt at improv!)

Anyways we laughed and I left and it seemed like everything was fine, but then as I was driving home I had this overwhelming feeling that something was wrong.  Whenever I have this feeling my mind starts getting defensive, replaying the event and saying to myself, “it’s fine, that was no big deal”, but the longer that replays in my head and I tell myself things are fine, the more I know they really aren’t.  I proceeded to tell my mother the story when I got home and she was loving and supportive as always, but as I proceeded to ask her for the 3rd time, “that was OK, right? I mean it wasn’t baaaad?”  She tried to hold back her grin as she said, “well, you might have wanted to wait until the 2nd or 3rd time you met this person to mention porn.”  I DIED laughing instantly and we had about 4-5 hours of laughter and jokes for the rest of the afternoon.  Having so much fun making fun of my inappropriateness and later she mentioned, “what kind of pie can you make to get out of that one?”  and again I was on the floor.

But she was right in her thinking…as I was already in my head thinking about the party I have to attend and what pie/dessert I will bring to attempt to redeem myself.  I think I might go with the peanut butta pie from my last post, because its so friggin good, but part of m wants to make something a bit more impressive like a cheesecake.  my favorite cheesecakes are pumpkin or white chocolate raspberry, which don’t really feel Summer-y to me.  So??  Any ideas out there?  What kind of pie can get you out of a Elaine or George Job Embarassment moment?  I know one thing, I won’t be doing the little kicks dance of Elaine at the party.  Knowing me I will, just to make it that much more awkward so I can laugh to myself at night at my funny little TV series of my own, which is my life.

Namaste,

Jessica